Sponsored this week by Ukip and the Milk Marketing Board
A week is a long time in politics.
The week kicked off when everyone’s favourite warlord, Tony Blair, gave a rather touching speech about how much he rated his pal Eddie. Ironic, given that back in 2011 Ed crowed “I’m not Tony Blair!” at the Labour Party Conference, to massive whoops and applause. Yet here he is, pleased as punch that good old Tone has come back to endorse him. TB seemed to be having an identity crisis of his own, meanwhile, giving the speech while sporting what could have passed muster for an Old Etonian tie - a faux pas that other man of the people, Gordon Brown, has also made in the past.
Anyone, should they wish, can purchase their very own old public school tie here, for a cool cool sixty quid. Defs worth it to nail that suave entitled look.
Meanwhile at Corpus Christi College, Oxford, alma mater of both Miliband Brothers, a fierce election campaign was being fought. Old Corpuscle Professor Stephen Cowley battled it out against five other candidates to secure victory as President of the College. Just shows, a Corpus man is at least capable of winning an election.
On Wednesday, in London’s Evening Standard magazine supplement, Labour blue-blood Harriet Harman gave possibly the most cringe interview ever given in the history of time, ever, EVER. And that’s saying a lot, given that the magazine also included a feature about Deliciously Ella, the Sainsbury’s heiress, daughter of Tory-turned-Labour MP Shaun Woodward, and ‘insanely awesome’ vom-inducing vegan blogger. Harman managed to trump Ells on the toe-curling scale by claiming that in her spare time she enjoys kicking back to Sam Smith’s latest album and hanging out at the achingly edgy Bussey Building in Peckham. Harriet Harperson didn’t mention whether she also dons the stab vest she’s been seen sporting while cruising the ‘hood when she hits up Bussey. Sik 1 Haz.
It hasn’t been a good week for Lynton Crosby, the lavishly-paid Aussie mastermind of spin behind both BoJo’s past election campaigns and Cameron’s current one. Over the last seven days, every trick the so-called ‘Wizard of Oz’ has tried seems to have backfired. In the polls, scruffy scarecrow Miliband has jumped ahead in popularity. Even Rachel Johnson, Boris’ ebullient sister, traitorously told friends that Miliband was actually “rather like a male model in the flesh”. Lynton’s magic wand seems to be drooping: the Wizard of Oz has somehow morphed into the Wicked Witch of the East, that dead one with a hut collapsed on top of her and her feet sticking out.
Until next week.