Hatefollow /heɪtˈfɒləʊ/ verb - When you can’t help but follow someone on social media, despite how much you despise them and/or what they stand for.
There’s nothing quite so satisfying as a good hateread. When we have time, we love to peruse articles on the Telegraph and Spiked, gently tutting under our breath as we ingest the latest thinkpiece about the impending doom of our once-glorious nation and the awful youths who now prowl the streets looking for opinions to censor.
But sometimes you don’t have time for a whole article. Sometimes you want to be able to feel morally superior and get that slight twinge of anger but in tiny, digestible, bite-size form. That’s where hatefollowing comes in. Jump on Twitter, follow these accounts, and you, too, can revel in the joys of the 140-character hateread.
1. Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) - Milo is the Associate Editor of Breitbart (no? me neither), but he’s probably more well-known for wandering the halls of social media, looking for fights. He has a devoted, almost cultish following of 16-year old misogynists who fall under the banner of ‘GamerGate’, one of the worst things to emerge from the cesspool of the internet in the last five years.
Follow him for: unapologetic narcissism, self-hating homophobia and laughably FOX News-esque conservatism.
This, his pinned tweet, including a picture of himself, dubious promises of objectivity, and the cold, dead eyes of a social conservative born in the wrong century:
— Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) December 15, 2022
2. Eoin Clarke (@LabourEoin) - on the other side of the spectrum, Eoin - sorry, Dr Clarke - has made a name for himself on Twitter by creating and sharing the most wonderfully one-sided party-political memes you are ever likely to encounter. 10 out of 10 for toeing the Labour Party line. 0 out of 10 for nuance.
Follow him for: tweets which invariably contain at least one of the words ‘Labour’, ‘Tory’, ‘Cameron’, ‘Miliband’, ‘right-wing’ and ‘bias’, methodologically sound polling, and many, many graphs.
Ed Miliband says we should ban MPs from having second jobs Cameron says we should not RT if you agree with Ed Fav if you agree with Cameron
— Dr Éoin Clarke (@LabourEoin) February 23, 2023
— Dr Éoin Clarke (@LabourEoin) February 21, 2023
85 government MPs are Private Landlords. No wonder they delivered the lowest number of homes built since the 1920s. pic.twitter.com/pDLD48wOE6
— Dr Éoin Clarke (@LabourEoin) March 2, 2023
Toryism…. David Cameron delivered the tightest NHS funding settlement in 67 years…. pic.twitter.com/qMyEY5HuVO
— Dr Éoin Clarke (@LabourEoin) February 28, 2023
Unflattering pictures of David Cameron, attempt to launch a new hashtag (riding on the coattails of the highly successful #CameronMustGo ), use of the words ‘ordinary people’.
— Dr Éoin Clarke (@LabourEoin) February 14, 2023
3. George Galloway (@georgegalloway) - when you follow George Galloway, you sign yourself up to an endless barrage of retweets of worthy causes and righteous fury. You also, merely by interacting with him or tweets about him, put yourself at risk of being sent letters demanding £5000 plus VAT for legal costs.
Follow him for: indefatigable anti-Zionism, endless retweets of support from his followers, the constant reminder that just because someone is left-wing doesn’t mean you’re going to agree with them on much, if anything at all.
Supporters of Israel seek to intimidate their opponents silence or discredit them. False allegations of anti-semitism are a part of that…
— George Galloway (@georgegalloway) March 1, 2023
— Team George Galloway (@TeamGeorgeG) February 26, 2023
Indicative tweet: ‘A tidal wave of filth racism insanity’
Apologies normal people for the cornucopia of madness, from alcoholics to Zionists, blocking the TL. A tidal wave of filth racism insanity
— George Galloway (@georgegalloway) February 25, 2023
4. Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) - people occasionally, sometimes with some justification, accuse me of being smug. However, any smugness which may exist in me is but a tiny atom to the colossal Red Giant of insufferable smugness and crowing self-satisfaction that is Louise Mensch’s twitter feed. From the knowingly superior smile in her display picture, to the perfectly placed passive aggressive smileys, to the blocking of anyone who uses the word ‘Zionist’ as an anti-Semite, her entire timeline is an exhilarating, wonderful insight into a mind that you can’t quite understand.
Follow her for: a really weird brand of Tory feminism , getting really confused when you find you agree with her on something, becoming furious because some people think that disagreeing with her justifies misogyny.
— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) February 28, 2023
Indicative tweet: Your confused reaction as you find yourself backing Louise is probably the best indication of the overall following experience.
If you thought Louise Mensch was self-satisfied, Richard Dawkins is an entirely different league. It’s almost adorable. He just doesn’t understand how people could possibly think he was ever wrong. And he preaches epistemic humility. It’s delicious.
Follow him for: gentle, woman-respecting eroticism, ‘abort it and try again’, and good old religion-bashing.
Yes, it’s satire. But comedy bites. It never occurs to faith addicts that you don’t actually need ANY religion. http://t.co/dxlhaOlcGY
— Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) February 27, 2023
Indicative tweet: presented without comment.
Date rape is bad. Stranger rape at knifepoint is worse. If you think that's an endorsement of date rape, go away and learn how to think.
— Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) July 29, 2023
6. CCHQ Press Office (@CCHQPress) - completing the triad of smugness, here’s the propaganda department of Tory HQ. Crowing over Labour gaffes, quoting statistics without context, triumphantly linking to favourable Telegraph articles - really, what more could you want?
Follow them for: taking a policy that’s 80% awful and attacking the 20%, playground-esque oneupmanship, taking a weird interest in the personal lives of Labour MPs.
— CCHQ Press Office (@CCHQPress) February 28, 2023
PM: By 2017 we'll be building 200,000 homes per year - faster than @UKLabour's 2020 target
— CCHQ Press Office (@CCHQPress) March 2, 2023
— CCHQ Press Office (@CCHQPress) February 25, 2023
Indicative tweet: ‘populism’, pots, kettles, and light-absorbing colours.
— CCHQ Press Office (@CCHQPress) February 22, 2023
7. The Spectator (@spectator) - we’re cheating a little bit here, because the only reason that the Spectator’s twitter account is insufferable is because it consists almost entirely of links to Spectator articles. If you have ever attempted to read the Spectator - and we would highly recommend it on the condition that you consume at least 6 units of alcohol beforehand - then you will likely be nodding along in agreement. The Spectator may be ‘the oldest continuously published magazine in the English language’ (that’s an awful lot of qualifiers), but it doesn’t seem to have improved with age.
Follow them for: mental gymnastics, links to Brendan O’Neill articles, and moralistic hand-wringing over the decline in values.
— The Spectator (@spectator) February 28, 2023
— The Spectator (@spectator) February 27, 2023
— The Spectator (@spectator) February 26, 2023
Indicative tweet: Tradition.
— The Spectator (@spectator) February 26, 2023
Do you have a twitter account that you hatefollow? Let us know in the comments below.